Allergyboy

I was cleaning out my hard drive when I came across a couple of pics from a few months back of me, my sisters and Paul being crazy. We were taking photos of ourselves jumping out on the street in front of our “summer villa” in Tagaytay. Take a look…

Now… “jumping” pics are quite difficult to take. It requires that all subjects jump at just the right time so that the camera can capture their image in mid-air. You will most likely have more misses than hits, but once in awhile, you will get that perfect shot. So it is without further ado that I present to you a piece I’d like to call…

Supernova, Skip To My Lou, The Matrix & Running Man

I slept at 5am today. I stayed up all night watching the first 11 episodes of this new show called “Heroes” on my supercool 20″ iMac (thanks to my aunt who downloaded all of them). :-p

It’s such an amazing show! It’s about these seemingly ordinary people from around the world who begin to realize that they have “special abilties”. Like being able to fly and stuff. There’s this one cop who finds out that he can read minds. A japanese guy who can bend-a time and-a spes-a (That’s “bend time and space” in case you don’t get it. I realize some of you are slow. Mwehehehe…). A drug-addicted artist who can paint the future. An ex-con who can walk through walls and his wife who has an alter ego strong enough to rip people in half with her bare hands. There’s even this cheerleader who can’t die. You can stab her in the head and twist her neck and she’ll live to cheer about it. Talk about S-P-I-R-I-T. Whoopee! It’s really the MOST. AWESOME. SHOW. EVER. You have to watch it. Really. You do.

But I must warn you. You will get hooked. Each episode ends with a cliffhanger. You will find yourself asking so many questions thinking that they will be answered in the next chapter. But it will only lead you to more questions. After 11 episodes, the story remains shrouded in mystery. Ooooooohhh… The next one airs on January 22. Thank goodness for BitTorrent.

After a few days in Cincinnati, Diane and I, along with a few of her friends, drove all the way to Kentucky for a nice hiking trip through the Red River Gorge - an amazing geological area filled with rivers and forests and cliffs and magical elves. What a wonderful trip it was! And little did we know that it was going to be filled with so much obstacles, challenges and excitement!

Here we are, at the beginning of our trail. Happy hikers unaware of the adventure that awaits…

As we merrily marched along the forest, we came across one of Kentucky’s hippest night clubs known simply as “The Shack”. So we stopped for a while to have a party!


We had so much fun. But we knew that we had to stop all this debauchery and continue on with our adventure. So we walked a couple more hundred miles and fought with bears, lions and kookaburas until we eventually arrived at the foot of the mountain. And then Julissa said, “I will be the first to climb because I have the biggest boobs!” So up she went.

But her boobs were no match for the treacherous mountain. It swallowed up her jacket, and she found herself hanging desperately over the cliff’s edge. “Help! Help!” screamed Julissa.

And then Noname, who has super powers said, “I will save you, Julissa!” So she lifted up the mountain thinking that it might help.

But it did not. And she inexplicably found herself right next to Julissa, and they both hung desperately. “Help us! Help us!” they shouted.

I watched from below with great horror and said, “Oh no! They are teetering over the cliff’s edge and will fall unless I do something!” And with one deep breath, I gathered up the courage to climb up this treacherous mountain so that I may save those damsels in distress.

And I succeeded. Because I am… DA MAN. Mm hmm daz right.

Diane, not to be outdone, jumped all the way up the mountain in a single leap and said, “I am the mountain queen! You must bow down before me and offer bananas!”

THE END.

And-a-one, and-a-two…

Hooray for the birthday today!
Hooray for the party we’re having!
Hooray for the games that we plaaaaay!!!
Won’t you join us in the fun?!

Hooray for the ice cream and cake!
For the streamers and all the decorations!
Hooray for this grand special daaaaay!!!
And for the many more to come CON-GRA-TU-LA-TIONS!!!

Let’s sing it again! Hoorah!

I would like to thank everyone for all the wonderful greetings I’ve received today. Special mention goes out to my quirky friend Jolei who actually greeted me a BELATED happy birthday last December 6. Because of her recent bingo addiction and some cellphone problems, she thought that it was December 12 instead. So the honor (oh yes, quite an honor it is) of being the first to greet me this year goes to her. I would also like to thank Karmi and Sam for treating me out to dinner last Thursday as their pre-birthday gift to me. It’s always nice to enjoy good food with good friends. And when the meal is free, it’s even better!
So thank you once again for all the wonderful greetings! I was deeply touched (oh how dramatic). And, wow, I can’t believe I’m 21 years old already. Mwehehehehe…

:-p

The best town in O-H-I-O, Ohio USA!

Remember that song? It was from the critically acclaimed cinematic masterpiece entitled “Babes in Toyland” starring Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore. Anyway…

After six days in California, I was off to Cincinnati to visit my dearest friend, Diane, who has been residing in the land of the cicadas (gross-looking winged insects that emerge from the ground in large numbers during certain parts of the year for the sole purpose of attacking famous actress Cameron Diaz) for about two years now. I hadn’t seen her in ages so I was pretty excited to finally see her and to meet the people in Cincinnati she calls her friends. I wanted to find out if they were just as kooky as we are. They were.
The flight from LAX to Cincinnati took about 4 hours. I hated my seatmates at the plane - two old, unattractive, white folks who kept blabbing about nonsense. I was so glad when the plane finally landed in Cincinnati. Their airport was rather large and vast. It took me about 3 1/2 days to get from the gate to the baggage terminal where Diane was waiting. Yey! And then we had dinner at this Asian restaurant called Teak which had really good sushi. And then we walked around a bit.

Here, you see us posing beside a fountain-slash-statue of what appears to be a fat friar.


I forgot what the name of this area was, but it was a pretty nice place to walk around. We also went to this nice little cafe to get some hot coco.

There were a few days when it got pretty cold in Cincinnati. As in cold enough to get frosty breath. You know? When you talk and you could actually SEE your breath coming out of your mouth. What I loved about the cold weather is that it allowed me to wear nice cold weather clothes which I could never wear in Manila unless I wanted to look like a sweaty idiot.

Naka-scarf pako. Say mo? Geoffrey Been yan. 100% pure wool pa. Sosyal.

I came prepared for the cold. I even bought a beanie and thick gloves that kinda looked like potholders. They were all black so I kinda looked like a burglar when I wore them.

Enter magnanakaw…

This is me rifling through what I regretfully discovered to be Diane’s underwear drawer.

Now if only I could fit this TV in my carry-on luggage.

Huli ka!

Yes, we were that bored. But you have to understand, there isn’t much to do in Cincinnati.

I got Diane a small gift during my stopover at the Narita airport in Japan. It was one of those dangling thingies that you could attach to small items like a cell phone or a mini coin purse. What dangled from the string was a miniature statue of what, to me, appeared to be the prevailing Japanes archetype of the all suffering female.

Here she is standing beside the miniature cow on Diane’s countertop.

We named her RJ. After our good friend RJ Paculan, who has noticably pouty lips.

So aside from playing dress up and naming inanimate objects, I also got to meet and hang out with Diane’s lovah, Aaron, as well as some of Diane’s friends. We stayed at Aaron’s for a couple of days. He lives in the suburbs. His neighborhood is very Wysteri Lane-like.

Aaron’s a musician and he’s got a lot of musical instruments in his house. From pianos to piccolos and trombones to timpanis. His home was a veritable orchestra.

This is Diane’s friend, Noname (pronounced no-neym). The story goes something like how her mom, not being able to decide what name to give her, just gave her no name at all - Noname. Here you see her playing one of Aaron’s bongos.

And here I am playing the bongos with Diane’s scientist friend, Julissa. Notice Julissa’s shirt. She doesn’t work in Hooters but she’s most certainly qualified. She is, after all, a scientist.

Here we are in our grand finale.

We were magnificent. Diane gave us a standing ovation.

The funny thing was that Aaron wasn’t even home that time. And yet there we were playing with all his stuff. We looked through one of his closets and found numerous head ornaments and wigs. What he uses them for, I do not know.

The guy on the left is Roman. He’s a total boyscout. He has this “emergency” bag that he carries all the time. It has tons of stuff in it like two-way radios, flashlights and a defibrillator. You know? In case someone gets a heart attack.

At this point, I would like to reiterate that there isn’t much to do in Cincinnati. But I still had a lot of fun with all the people I hung out with. See you soon, Diane! And thanks for letting me stay in your nice high-ceilinged apartment with easy to use washer and dryer.

My first stop was sunny Californa-yey! My mom’s friend, Tita Ichu, picked me up at the airport and we had lunch at this cajun restaurant at this pier somewhere in Long Beach. The area kinda reminded me of the OC. And our waiter looked like a sad version of Robin Williams. Like when he played that crazy one hour photo guy in the movie “One Hour Photo”. Anyway, here I am at the pier, which you actually don’t see much of in this photo. But it had yachts and stuff.

Here I am with Tita Ichu. She’s super nice.

This is the fat cat that would sit in front of her apartment. She’s terrified of cats so she has to go in the back door everytime it’s there.

I stayed with her mostly when I was in California. She lives in Long Beach. It’s a nice place. In some parts, you’ll see a lot of buildings that were built way back in the 70s.

I also stayed with my Aunt Baby (who I mentioned in a previous post) and my Uncle Clark for a few days. They live in Chino Hills. I’m not sure which part of California that’s in. They live in the suburbs. Here’s a photo of us in their home. My Uncle Boy (who I also mentioned in a previous post) is in it, too.

And here I am being all touristy. This is me at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

And here I am at the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

I actually saw asses that were way bigger than the one in this photo. I was at the mall once, and there was this lady with a gigantic ass. It looked liked she was shoplifting an entire store’s merchandise and put everything behind her butt. Seriously. It was ridiculously and impossibly huge. It should have been a tourist attraction.

Anyway… I had a lot of fun in California. And I loved the weather, too. It was just right. I’d definitely love to visit again. And I barely felt like I left the country, too. Everywhere I went I would hear Filipinos talking. May Jollibee at Goldilocks pa.

I’m back! I was back since friday actually. I arrived at around 11pm I think. I hate flying. My plane left Newark at around 9am for a 2 hour flight to Detroit where I sat for about 3 hours until I boarded for my plane to Nagoya. TWELVE HOURS on that flight. 12. TWELVE!!! And then another hour waiting in Japan. Then another 4 hours of flying which finally brought me back to Manila. Home-sweet-polluted-home. It’s great to be home actually. I really missed my room. I have this thing about my room. And my bathroom. I just have this thing… nevermind… I have no idea where I’m going here…

I met this nice, albeit strange, middle-aged woman on my way home. She started talking to me during the stopover in Detroit. She’s a balikbayan on her way home to visit her relatives. We were having a pretty normal conversation at first and then she started opening up to me about her life. Like I was Joe D’ Mango or something. Her husband apparently is a controlling, stubborn womanizer. And her stepson’s emotionally unstable, which she believes is caused by the father’s (her husband’s) behavior. I told her she should leave her husband. I may have actually convinced her to think about it. And then we had lunch at this Japanese restaurant which was just a few steps away from the gate where we were waiting at. She talked some more about her life, her religious beliefs, her family back in the Philippines, etc… Close kame. As in. She’s nice. Her name’s Mrs. Panis.

So anyway… after my super duper kaduper long flight, my mom picked me up at the airport and I chatted with her for a bit when we got home and went straight to bed. I barely slept during my 22+ hours of travelling so I was pretty much knocked out the moment my pretty, little head came into contact with my hypoallergenic pillow. Which was good because I actually had to work the next day. My goodness. 22+ hours of airports and airplanes and I have to go to work the next day. It’s funny how vacations always end in stress. Well, it’s not funny actually. Anyway… so I went to work the next day in fear that I might actually collapse in the middle of a lecture. But thank goodness I didn’t.

So it’s back to reality for me. I had such a great time during my 3 1/2 week stay in the US. Saw good friends and family. Hung out in sunny California. Went hiking in Kentucky. Immersed myself in the awesomeness of New York. Went shopping!!! It wuz gureyt. Ah luvd it. That’s me doing my southern accent.

Mabuhay!

Greetings and salutations, my friends. I blog to all of you today from the land of milk & honey, HUGE discount shopping and GIGANTIC food portions - the US of A! Hooray! I arrived last October 24 after flying for a total of 13 hours! My legs were so sore from being cramped up in the plane. They’re actually still hurting a bit until now.

So my first stop was in sunny California. I stayed with my mom’s friend in Long Beach for a few days, and then I visited my aunt and uncle who lived all the way up in Chino Hills. And my Aunt Baby (yes that is her name) took me to play bingo. We played at this casino called the San Manuel something-something casino in this HUGE auditorium and it was filled with OLD people. I’ve never seen so many of them all in one place in my entire life. And I’m talking Estelle Getty kind of old (is she still alive?). My aunt was telling me that sometimes you’ll actually see some them wearing oxygen masks. It was so funny. I TOTALLY enjoyed it. Like, fer shur. I stayed at my Aunt Baby’s for two days and then my Uncle Boy (yes that is also his name) picked me up and we had dinner the next day with some of my other relatives who lived in L.A. I also got to see a lot tourist spots like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Kodak Theater, Rodeo Drive (how I wish I was rich enough to actually shop there), etc… It was alot of fun.

And then I was off to Cincinnati, which is actually where I am now as I type this entry. I’m staying with my friend, Diane, who’s been working here as a "cultural entertainer" for a few years now. Cincinnati is actually pretty boring. There just isn’t much to do here, and a lot of the places close really early. But today we drove all the way to KENTUCKY. Yes, Kentucky. We drove about 2 hours to go to this park to go hiking. We went up a mountain. One of the cliffs we got to was called "Lover’s Leap". We tried looking over it to see if there were any dead bodies locked together in an embrace. But we didn’t see any. Now, as I’ve come to realize, hiking isn’t very easy. There were many parts that were actually difficult, and quite dangerous, to walk on. There was this one trail called the something-needle-devil-something-something-whatever (I can’t remember) that was so steep and had really slippery steps. We we’re walking through it and then I realize that the right lens of my glasses fell off. And the ground was just so muddy and covered with leaves that I just thought I was never gonna find it. We actually gave up and just went on our way. But we got lost and ended up back at that same trail so we just went and looked for the lens again. And we actually found it amidst all that mud and leaves. Well, it was actually Diane and her friend Noname (pronounced no-neym, yes that is her real name) who found it. Hiking’s pretty fun, I have to say. And it was a really good workout. Who would have thought that I would actually have a great time in, of all places, Kentucky. I mean, the place we went to didn’t even have a cellphone signal. I was hoping to see a real redneck though so I could have a picture with him. But alas, I was not to see white trash today. But I nonetheless had such a great time. And I’m off to New York in a couple of days. I’m definitely looking forward to that. I’ll see if I can keep "y’all" posted on more of my adventures here in good ol’ America. I’ll try. But I will be very busy the next few days maxing out Daddy-o’s credit card. 

Hooray! My blog is back! I was trying to check it since yesterday, but my browser kept loading a blank page. Everything seems to be fine now, but I may just back up all of my posts incase something bad happens (knock on wood, knock, knock, knock on wood!).

Not much funny stuff happening in my life lately. Except maybe when I ate at this spanish restaurant the other day. The waitress comes in with my dessert and says, “sir, here’s your bread fooding“. So I flashed a big, big smile because I somehow needed to let out the laughter that was building deep within my soul. She probably thought I was just so happy to get my food… ing…

Hooray for FOODING! Hooray!

I don’t think my blog is working right now. Hello? Are you there, blog?