Crazy Imelda
Whenever I hear, read or see anything about Imelda Marcos, I always assume that it’s a mockery of some sort that pokes fun at her and all the lose screws that can no longer hold her brain together. Whatever it is, be it a story, a news article or a documentary, no matter how serious, it just all seems CRAZY to me - like it’s something I should be watching on Chappelle’s Show or Saturday Night Live (when it was still funny). I just see a picture of her and all I can think of is NUTCASE. She’s always completely made up, wearing ostentatious jewelry and some old-style Philippine gown. Ask yourself, have you actually ever seen the woman in anything other than her Maria Clara couture? I think she even poops and sleeps in them. And the hair. Oh my god the FUCKING hair. It’s hair-sprayed to complete and utter hardness that it looks bullet proof. And I also heard of this one story where years ago, she decided to construct rows of toilets in some area in hopes that poor people would build their shanties around it so that they would at least have a place to move their bowels. People stared calling it “Kubeta Hill”.
Anyway, the reason I bring her up, other than the fact that I wanna make fun of her hair is that I read her on TIME Asia today. Yes, they wrote about her. They devoted an entire page talking about her, how she kissed Chairman Mao’s hand, how Fidel Castro was her chauffer for a day and how she fully believes that she could have persuaded Saddam Hussein to surrender by simply talking to her. OH MY GOD CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THE WOMAN SOME CRAZY PILLS. All her actions are CLEARLY desperate cries for help. And then she continues on to say that she has a plan where she will come up with a project that will eradicate poverty in the Philippines in two years. Well good luck, Mrs. Marcos. I honestly hope that little project of yours comes true. But if not, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure some homeless person with an upset stomach thanks you for the toilet.
June 30th, 2006 at 9:32 am
You have to admit though, if Imelda received psychosis treatment, we wouldn’t have a regular dose of her special brand of idiotically funny in Philippine politics. (Yes, I’m aware there’s lots than come close to that, but Imelda’s funny and not just plain idiot, compared to some other politicians.) No one can really match up to her brand of batshit insanity.
…I think all that hair spray must’ve fried her brains or something. I mean… it’s gotta be HOT under all that up-there hair!
June 30th, 2006 at 11:01 am
she could definitely give Superman a run with that bulletproof hair of hers! =) is it even real now? i wonder…
June 30th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Ah, yes. Philippine Politics. No highly-rated reality tv show can ever come close to the entertainment value given to us by those blundering buffoons.
You know, maybe it really is bulletproof, designed by a top secret, technologically advanced organization funded by all the gold she purports to have. And it does make sense for her to have an invulnerable coiffure. Just imagine how many people want to have her assassinated.
July 1st, 2006 at 11:41 pm
you should tell ginger to read this blog. she’s going to imelda’s birthday dinner party tonight.
seriously though, why is she even allowed to set foot on philippine land??? it’s so fucking annoying how filipinos forget so easily all of the atrocities committed against them.
July 2nd, 2006 at 9:25 pm
you should see that lunatic in mass in forbes. she always arrives right after the gospel when everyone has just sat down to listen to the homily, no fail! i think she waits by the door to make her grand entrance. and yes she is in her “maria clara terno” and sporting jackie’o sunglasses! she even goes to communion that bitch! hahaha but you gotta admit, she’s like kris aquino, the type that you get annoyed with but you still get fascinated by them coz of their …well…uh…stupidy or coz they’re utirly panget…or simply just wanna piss yourself off and bitch after.
July 12th, 2006 at 8:46 am
…you did NOT just spell “utterly” as “utirly”. say you didn’t or i will disown you!!!
July 12th, 2006 at 8:56 am
exag naman to. maghunusdili ka, iha. masmaraming karumaldumal na mga nangyayari sa ating mundo.
July 14th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
call it an occupational hazard. or the pet peeve of a bibliophile. what’s hunusdili???
July 15th, 2006 at 3:44 am
It means CALM DOWN, WOMAN!